


consider the alternative

by sunlit_tea_leaves



Series: whatever your acronym [2]
Category: Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: AU of an AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Genderfluid Character, Gordon Freeman is an AI, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nonbinary Character, Role Reversal, Role Swap, Team as Family, benrey is they/themrey in this fic!!, canon-typical themes of unreality, hlvrai multiplayer au, slkdjfslkjdfskd this doesn't fit the main multiplayer storyline at ALL so heads up about that
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:33:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunlit_tea_leaves/pseuds/sunlit_tea_leaves
Summary: Gordon learns what Pinnochio felt like when he became a real boy, except much more painfully. Thankfully, he has loving friends to help him through it.
Relationships: Benrey & Bubby (Half-Life), Benrey/Gordon Freeman, Benrey/Tommy Coolatta, Benrey/Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman, Bubby/Dr. Coomer (Half-Life), Dr. Coomer & Gordon Freeman, Everyone & Everyone, Tommy Coolatta/Gordon Freeman
Series: whatever your acronym [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796431
Comments: 46
Kudos: 317





	1. bonus timeline [unlocked]

**Author's Note:**

> HEADS UP THIS STORY IS AN AU OF THE MULTIPLAYER AU

You wake up, suspended in the void. If you’re honest with yourself, you weren’t expecting that. The waking up part, not the choking darkness. You try to move, to shout, to gesture to scream to do something, _anything_ , but the most you manage is feebly kicking your legs, and a small choked noise buried deep in your throat. 

“Ah...good to ssee you are...finally awake, Misster Freeman....” A voice rasps from all around in the inky dark, familiar and yet somehow not. Even as you recognize it you get the odd feeling that you’ve never heard it before. You blink, and then you startle badly as suddenly Mr. Coolatta is _right there_ , about an arm’s length away. He grins at you.

The glitches start to buzz around you like flies around fresh carrion as your panic grows and you try to jerk away. One of the little multicolored fragments of you makes it over to Tommy’s dad, and he plucks it out of the air apathetically to inspect it. Even in your panic, you can’t help but notice how.... _off_..he looks. How different he is from last you saw him.

He somehow looks more real than anything you’ve ever seen in your admittedly short life, sharper and more detailed.

“Apologies for the..glitching Missster Freeman. Let me, fix.. that.” Mr. Coolatta smiles a sharp smile as suddenly the world _shifts_ around you.

You gasp sharply as the void releases you, heaving and spluttering as if you had been drowning. Your knees, and then your hands, hit the ground with a loud echoing clank, as if the ground is made of invisible marble. Pins and needles prick viciously at your shaking arms, and your head pounds with a migraine far worse than anything your code has ever given you-it feels like one wrong move will split your head open. Something wet trickles out of your nose and over your mouth and onto the ground, making faint splashes. You lick it experimentally, and the familiar iron taste of blood coats your tongue and teeth.

You feel all of this pain, and your surroundings seemingly haven’t changed, but-the buzz of glitches is gone. You feel heavier and everything feels somehow brighter, more vibrant more _real_.

“What...did you do to me?” You ask, your voice rasping painfully. You try to swallow, but your throat is far too dry. “What was that?”

“I merely...transsferred your code into a format more...suitable for your life.” Mr. Coolatta(?) started to circle around you, and for a wild moment he reminds you of a predator circling its prey. Or perhaps, a buyer looking over an intriguing product. Ghostly clones of him split off, and overhead white lights start to streak through the darkness like shooting stars. It makes you feel dizzy to look at, so you bow your head and squeeze your eyes shut for a long moment. You then slowly get to your feet with a wince.

“You...you’re not Tommy’s dad, are you.” You say, swaying a little. It’s not a question, it’s a statement. “Who are you..?”

“Who I...truly am is of no matter to you..but I am indeed _not_ Mr. Coolatta. My digital counterpart iss…a man of many talents, but...mattersss like thiss, are...beyond his power, sso to sspeak.” Not-Mr. Coolatta smirked, their hands steepling as their many images merged back into one.

“Your digital counterpart...you’re a-another fucking player? What the hell do you want with me?” You bare your teeth in a snarl as you do your damn best to glare down at them. It’s your favorite intimidation tactic. You’ve used it on Jaden and the rest many times. Unfortunately it doesn’t work, because you both know you’re bluffing, and because they’re taller than you.

“Another player...? My dear Missster Freeman, I am sso much... _more_ than that. As for what I want...I’ll do you one better, Misster Freeman..What do _you_ want?” They asked, their eyes glowing eerily and leaving behind ghostly trails of light as they continue to circle you.

The unexpected question flusters you. You look away.

“I-I want to be..to be human.” You blurt out. The honesty of it shocks you for a moment-and when you look up, it’s to their smirk.

“You’re in luck, Misster Freeman...ussually I’m not allowed to make transsactionssss like thiss, but...yourss iss a...unique, casse, to put it lightly.” Not-Mr. Coolatta extends their arm, and their suitcase floats gently over to you. You glare at it.

“Transaction? What’s the price?” You ask, even as your fingers twitch at your sides. 

Not-Mr. Coolatta grins very much like how you imagine a shark would, after scenting blood in the water.

“The price? Misster Freeman...the price iss merely that...you watch over my _counterpart’ss_ young progeny, mm? A rather...cheap cosssst, if I may..ssay ssso mysself. But, of coursse….there iss _alwayssss_ a choice.”

“A choice?” You echo with a frown. “What’s the other option?”

“You sstay an AI, and you make out a life for yourssself from there...perssonally I think you could..make both optionss work, as you are a rather... _ressourceful_ perssson...but I, doubt you’d.. like that option.” They say serenely. 

You blanch at the thought of that, of staying lines of code. Why would you ever willingly choose that? You reach out for the briefcase, but as your fingers brush against the handle there is a sudden roar all around you. You jerk back, looking for the source, but you are alone in the void. There’s nothing else but you, the inky dark and the briefcase.

“What is this-” You start to yell, only to cut yourself off with a little cry as your migraine worsens, making you fall to your knees and clutch at your head as the pain throbs with every beat of your heart.

“I thought you’d choosse that, Missster Freeman…” You look up with blurry tear filled eyes to see the suited bastard themself, looking smug. You open your mouth to scream profanity at them, but all that claws its way out of your throat is a low whine. You collapse onto your side, shaking. Around you the roar deepens, and the white lights start to streak faster and faster, like a sped up timelapse of the sky. It makes you dizzy to look at, and you curl up into a ball.

The void starts to fracture underneath your fingertips, and through the inky black you see the familiar pink and black checkered pattern of the missing texture pattern, from the game when it started to truly break.

“I believe...thiss isss my sstop.” Not-Mr. Coolatta says calmly, their voice echoing from seemingly all around you. If you were more coherent, you’d make a joke about surround sound or some shit. “But before I get off…”

You squeeze your eyes shut as pain and vertigo hit you in equal measure. It feels worse than when the game shut off every time the players were done, worse than you ‘going to sleep’.

“Enjoy your new life, and...good luck, Misster Freeman.”

You think you’re screaming, but you don’t have enough time or presence of mind to check before you black out.


	2. join the party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter the universe, The Science Team never leaves one of their own behind to rot. Not when it really matters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> skxjdbd this chappie was going to have more gordon originally but the science team really went "gordon, crow said it's MY turn in the story >:(" sdfsddsjkjdg so yeah

The most Mariko can bring themself to think of Xen is how eerie it was. Enemies glitching and clipping through objects to scream at them, textures and game walls dissolving into blurry static and that black and pink checkered pattern that she was starting to hate so much, the ambient music of the game catching and crackling and then just stopping completely every time _he_ came by, leaving them and their friends in a void of sound except for their own voices. 

And that wasn't even considering Gordon.

She can still see it all so clearly. Gordon, towering above them all like a vengeful god with his hair billowing up and out like he was underwater, with bright golden eyes set against black sclera. And his words-! Mariko still didn't remember how they'd all managed to talk him down, memories lost to fear and stress and grief.

Grief, because once Gordon had crumpled, so had the game. And now, digging through the files, no one could find him. 

They had lost Gordon. They had all lost Gordon and no matter how hard any of them looked, none of them could fucking _find_ him. It was like...like he'd just been. Mariko ground their palms into her eyes with a small, choked sob. Like he'd been deleted. Like the game had finally had enough of forcefully resetting their friend and in the ensuing crash and taken Gordon down with it. This was all her fault. She should've done more, she and the rest should've been honest with him about the reality of everyone the fucking _moment_ he'd become aware enough to ask why there was a fucking void beyond Black Mesa.

Mariko ground their palms into their eyes with a small choked sound. Gordon had asked, once. Asked if things were real. At the time “Coomer” had just deflected, Mariko leaning into the persona and deflecting with a casual “Hello Gordon!” but now...if only she could answer now. 

The science team’s love for Gordon-that had been real! So had Gordon’s thoughts, and his feelings and decisions. But the layer of reality he’d lived in, it hadn’t been real, or it hadn’t been real in the sense that he’d been expecting.

That sort of revelation, the realization that things were far less stable underneath your fingertips than you’d thought... it was enough to make or break a person, especially when facing that thought alone.

Mariko thought back to the fear that had been so thinly veiled during Gordon’s “boss fight”. She thought about the way Jaden’s shitty mic had distorted their already cracking voice, the way Thomas had sounded close to tears, how Xavier had reached out. She thought about how Gordon had recoiled. 

Mariko, once known as Dr. Coomer by a certain AI, thought about a lot of things.

They were abruptly taken out of their thoughts by the sudden ping of their phone. She rolled over to swipe at the pale thing, brushing pink hair out of her face and hissed as the screen lit up painfully bright. It was late in the evening, about 9:40 PM or so.

Jaden: HELP  
Xavier: What’s wrong?  
Jaden: GORODNS HERE AND HES MEAT

…What? 

Mariko: go to bed  
Xavier: What the fuck are you talking about? Gordon’s code.  
Thomas: this isn’t a very funny joke :/!!  
Jaden: NOT JOKING LOOK

[Image Description: picture of a person in what looks like the HEV suit on the floor of Jaden’s kitchen. They’re curled up on the floor and clutching at their face and while the lighting’s horrible since the lights are off and the only light from the flash, it looks like there’s blood seeping out between their fingers. While the person’s face is hidden, what little is able to seen looks, very, **_very_ **much like a certain AI.]

Mariko suddenly, deliriously, felt like they were feeling what Gordon felt like every time the game was shut off, like she was being ripped apart atom by atom, like she was flying high like she was drowning in the depths of the ocean like they were being fucking vaporized by the sheer shock that hit them like a freight train. By the time they came back to themself, they were rocking back on forth on the bed as their phone blew up with messages.

She skimmed over the equally shocked replies of the rest, and entered in a simple and yet to the point text.

Mariko: I’m coming over. Don’t do anything stupid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is an au of my multiplayer au! if you have absolutely no idea what the fuck that is go check out my tumblr @asthecrowrambles! also check out the previous work in this series for og multiplayer au fic :D
> 
> OH ALSO REAL QUICK!  
> mariko = coomer  
> jaden = benrey  
> thomas = tommy  
> xavier = bubby  
> gordon is just gordon fowiejwefwegsdf

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this story doesn't fit the main multiplayer au at ALL but like...i got this ask on tumblry and it grabbed me by the throat and refused to let go until i put it into words sdljfsd  
> my tumblr is asthecrowrambles :>


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